Feeling Sad Isn’t Bad: Emotional Discomfort Helps Kids Grow

Parenting is no easy feat. It’s a job that requires patience, perseverance, and a lot of love. But one thing that often gets overlooked is the importance of allowing children to experience a range of emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. As much as we want to protect our kids from pain and discomfort, it’s important to remember that these experiences can help them build resilience, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

It’s not about subjecting your child to constant emotional turmoil, but rather allowing them to feel the full spectrum of emotions that come with life. It could be as simple as letting your child experience disappointment when they don’t get what they want or allowing them to feel frustrated when they’re struggling with a task.

While it may be tempting to shield our children from these uncomfortable emotions, it’s important to remember that growth often comes from facing challenges and overcoming them. By allowing our children to experience a range of emotions, we’re helping them develop the skills they need to navigate the ups and downs of life.

Of course, this is easier said than done. As parents, we naturally want to protect our children from anything that may cause them pain or discomfort. But the truth is, shielding them from these experiences could be doing them a disservice in the long run.

So, how can parents strike a balance between protecting their children and allowing them to experience emotional growth? Here are a few tips:

  1. Normalize uncomfortable emotions: Let your child know that it’s normal and okay to feel uncomfortable emotions like sadness, frustration, and anger. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and validate their emotions. This helps children feel heard and understood, which in turn helps them learn how to regulate their emotions.
  2. Encourage problem-solving: Instead of jumping in to fix your child’s problems, encourage them to come up with their own solutions. Ask open-ended questions and guide them through the problem-solving process. This helps children develop important life skills and a sense of autonomy.
  3. Allow natural consequences: When children make mistakes, it’s tempting to want to shield them from the consequences. However, allowing natural consequences can be a powerful learning experience. For example, if your child chooses to go outside without a jacket, they are going to be cold. This helps children learn responsibility and accountability.
  4. Model healthy emotion regulation: When you show your child that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and demonstrate how to manage them in a healthy way, you are giving them the tools they need to do the same. 

Ultimately, allowing our children to experience a range of emotions is an act of love. It may be uncomfortable in the moment, but the long-term benefits are worth it. When we allow our children to feel sadness, frustration, and disappointment, we’re helping them build resilience and empathy. And that’s something that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

View a lesson about Emotions on YouTube